![]() ![]() ![]() Really? What does this mean? And what’s the difference between this little guy and the one that my friend said makes you shake and go crazy? I click on FAQs and there’s my answer! “Finally, for all the ladies in the house Redline Princess was formulated for WOMEN ONLY. I read a little about the product, touting its ability to mimic chocolate as an aphrodisiac. Sort of (by sort of I mean stretching) cute. I click around some more in search of a girl drink and see the word “princess.” The mother ship is calling me home. I have social anxiety disorder and this stuff helps me get over the anxious feelings of insecurity in my day-to-day interaction with clients.” For sure, the next cocaine. Then I get to the testimonials and find, “I feel stronger, more capable, and more confident. What that whaaa what? More as a joke than anything, I hit up the site and started perusing and was both appalled and intrigued by, “the first physique-transforming matrix to coax your body to burn fat through the “shivering response.” It is a physiological fact that when you shiver, your body releases a large amount of stored body fat in an attempt to bring body temperature back to normal.” I love it. He said the drink makes your muscles spasm and makes you go crazy. As I was choking down yet another FHE, my friend asked me if I’d ever tried Redline Energy. The most disgusting thing to ever pass my lips (yes, girls, most disgusting). I bought this product by the case for awhile until I got frustrated with ordering online and gave up caffeine all together. I finally found a respectable companion in Hype Energy. The sad thing is when you buy online, generally you can only buy by the case. Sugar free, cute cans, good tasting (according to their site and review). Even Red Bull was making bigger cans of their noxious beverage. And the small cans were getting phased out. I was partial to the small cans because, let’s be honest, the big cans are too manly and not something I want to carry around and be associated with. Sadly, I tried every single low-calorie/sugarfree energy drink I could get my hands on. (To disclaim totally, Tab Energy is now sold in other countries as Tab Fabulous. ![]() If Tab E couldn’t survive in this market, surely there was something better. But I couldn’t give up! Not today! Not on Rex Manning Day! So I set out in search of the perfect energy drink. I wiped a tear from my eye knowing I had nothing left to live for. The taste of Red Bull compared to my Tab E was a mockery. I laid in mourning for weeks, maybe months. Not only was it gone, there was no last gasp. And when I googled it, I found they’d discontinued the product months before and were depleting supplies. I bought my last can out of town (again, the last one at that gas station). Then I bought the last can at my convenience store. Then one day it disappeared off the shelfs of Walmart. I may have even given up water in an attempt to only drink this sweet, frosted deliciousness. I drank the hell out of this stuff, buying it one-off, by the four-pack, however I could get it. It tasted like liquid watermelon Jolly Ranchers. I bought one and it was the most delightful thing my tongue had ever caressed. Then one day I walked into the convenience store and saw before me a cute, pink container. I drank it so much I didn’t know what else to do with myself. I started like any virgin energy drinker, with Red Bull (sugarfree). I’ve been drinking energy drinks for years. ![]()
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